CC

It’s like putting a plaster over skin that keeps breaking

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One thing I have always found with this job, is that when I’ve had a few days off and the thought of going back to work seems a bit doomy, I get there and it’s always alright or it’s better than alright and I’m reminded why I want to do it.

Blue

John Sutherland just medically retired. I’m sure, like all of us, he never imagined that the wear the job would put on him would show in his mind rather than his body.

A lot of coping is not thinking about it too much, but that goes against the way I try to process the rest of my life and the planet we’re on.

Someone good at work recently commented on my ‘thoughtfulness’ which I took as a compliment. Although, someone was on hand to remind me that it’s this quality that supports my tendency to ‘kick the arse out of everything’ and knowing that cannot last, I only do that while I’m actually there and I’ve found I’m not bad at balancing work and life.

After my first few months of taking everything home with me and deeply feeling the responsibility we have, the risks we take, the bleak future under this government and the faith or lack of it that many people have in us, I started to just stop thinking about a few of those things to the extent that I was. ✋🏼 head buried in the sand.

I’m lucky enough to have a few people (of varying independence) who I can talk to about work at the right time and who will challenge me and the systems we work within and our actions and associated consequences. It feels great to push the boundaries and stretch my brain sometimes. But when I’m alone and turning up for the job everyday, I think it’s alright not to think on the responsibility and the risk. I want to keep turning up and I hope my nerves can take the next 33 years.

I’ve always liked the idea of ‘keeping the peace’ and having the option of Breach of the Peace in your back pocket is a useful tool. This past set has heard a few warnings and another few arrests of that kind. Some people respond quite well to it, others’ll tell us to fuck our peace.